I am back after a week of not attending this blog sorry if you have been holding out for the next entry in a series and I have not delivered. Shame on me. Anyway the usual laptop is in the shop right now having repairs done to it, so I am writing this on dads rather slow old laptop, so sorry if it takes a bit longer or I lose you half way through, doing my best on this machine.
It feels good to write again, I have just been in the space where I could not write anything positive so thort best to give this blog a break, as you dont want to hear the rants and raves of someone who just cant get her .... together.
An update mum is still in Melbourne, grandad seems to be putting on weight which is good, and he is on natural remedies, including a protein shake everyday made up of a heap of vegetables,anyway his mind has become sharper and hes more with it. So thats an improvement. Still talking to him on skype and granny for that matter. Havent gone to Melbourne yet though, holding off at present incase need to go later urgently.
Dad and I are having some precious father daughter time, which is nice. Had a movie night, with junk food, and our relationship seems to be improving so thats good. I am enjoying having him to myself. I know that sounds funny its just dad and I have never been close. He has always been too busy running a business etc and he has been the provider but not really someone I can talk to much, about stuff and spend time with.
Getting my hair cut today Yay, so that'll be nice. I am making dinner tonight in the slow cooker, Lamb chops, with potatos, and vegies so it will be nice and hot when dad returns after work.
Was thinking last night really need to get my ................together and decide what I plan to do career wise whether early childhood is still a go, or whether I should look at peer support work and helping others eg getting their lives on track support work, mental health field, I say this because I have an interest in this field now as I have been through the system so have first hand experience and also know now how crappy the system and the DHB can be and want to rectify alot of wrongs that do happen and people fall through the cracks. I think I have mentioned before things that have happened through no fault of my own but stupidity of the DHB and not seeing the signs before interfening. Its only because of my own self resillence and friends that I am actually existing and its sad because the DHB and other mental health departments have let down certain ones when they needed them the most and these ones were vunerable members of society.
So whens it going to end.
When are people like the PM John Key gonna see just how much damage these departments do.
I dont know, all I know is that there are going to be stories of those who are let down by the system, lives that could of been saved but people didnt see the signs.
In effect it baffles me like this lawyer Greg King. If it was ineffect suicide, that he took his own life why did he do it? he had a brilliant mind, brilliant job, money to burn, a loving wife, and family 2 kids. That wasnt enough????????
The actress. She was successful? or was she? what is in the minds of these ones who give up. Its suddenly not just the poor, weak vunerable, mentally ill that take their lives or the unemployed. Its a much greater amount of individuals now. Why?
I wonder with Greg King whether he felt some he represented in court were guilty, and even though he got them scott free from conviction, whether this played on his conscience. Taunting him cos he knew the truth and what in fact did happen in the Scott Guy case. Etc/.
This is just speculation but even still its interesting to consider.
I was watching the story of Marilyn Monroe the other day and her case is still unanswered, was it suicide at the end of the day, or was someone covering up? We will never know as these answers to these questions have been taken to the grave alongside these ones. But it doesnt stop the majority of the public from looking at the case and examining what evidence is left to consider.
Then theres the faithful story of why are those who are so talented and so likeable succesful in their attempts to commit suicide. When others arent. Everytime I watch the Batman movie, the Joker haunts me - as he was played by Heath Ledger. An up and coming young actor the role of his life. Yet it was such a dark role. What was going through his mind in order to prepare to play such a dark charactor - villian. Well everytime I see the Joker on screen it gives me the creeps. To think back then when I watched the movie for the first time I thought someone is going to copy him. Like I could see it someone would try to be the Joker in real life. I wish I had said something maybe it wouldnt of made a difference being one persons thort out of many but soon enough there was a man who dressed like the joker and he went into a movie theatre and he shot many people! is that just coincidence? You decide.
Maybe theres a reason that we are meant to see. Maybe violence has just got to such a disturbing stage on tv, videos, video games, dvds theatre. That people become what they see they dream of it and some are so disturbed that it becomes them. I dont know the reason. This is just a theory but I wonder to have a safer and peaceful society whether we can do so with such content on the box. Whether we need to take a look at what we feed our minds and our hearts and our souls. Because whether or not we are that sort of person who can fathom hurting others. They are out there, and we are just feeding an obsession, a dangerous obsession and the wrong person, with the wrong information can use it against us.
Just the theory bloggers let me know what u think of it.
Take care till next time Tash
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