Hi guys.
Tasha here, have been away for quite some time so I apologise for this, I guess whilst I was so unwell I wasnt in a state to contribute to this page. You will be pleased to hear that things have turned around for me because I am now on the right medication and getting the right therapy from a grief counsellor. She is wonderful I would not be in this place without her support and many others.
I am back to concentrating on my art work, and I will post some of my work in due time. I am also drawing my own pictures and painting now, so evolving as an artist. I have been applying for positions locally, work that is close to home, primarily my interests lie in working in the mental health sector, so I am making steps to study Mental Health this year and also do a certificate in trauma. Because I feel that the professionals out in the mental health sector do not know enough abou t trauma itself, and how to really relate and treat their clients. How can you fully understand unless you have been down that road yourself.
I feel that I am in a privellged position to share what I have learnt through my own recovery and journey to help others through theirs. Because even though alot of what I have gone through has been extremely painful at times, and I would not wish upon anyone, I know without this journey I would not be as strong as I am now. The resillence that I have learnt is what I treasure. I know no matter what happens to me in life if I can overcome such a struggle as I have then I can get through anything that life throws my way.
I am also looking at writing my own book regarding my own story. I want it to be positive and inspirational, not a sympathy tale. Shouldnt we celebrate our strengths and our amazing strength to get over the unbelievably awful experiences that life presents. I guess going through the sucky times also makes you appreciate the good times when they come your way.
Its starts off just as John Kirwin says you drink your coffee and think that was nice.. or you look out on a summers day and think thankgoodness its not raining. But later on you see more than the little things in life. Especially once the fog clears that clouds your judgement and your lifes focus.
One thing thats helped me in the end is that I decided to volunteer at Supporting Families an organisation that deals with the mentally ill and those who need support. I volunteer one day a wk but I find because I started to do this and look outside of myself, to help others that my problems didnt seem so major compared to others issues. Helps you to get your thinking into perspective. It also gives you a reason to wake up and get dressed and go out.
I am a firm believer in forcing yourself out of the hole. Its not easy. It takes an intense struggle at times to do but if you can see yourself as more than an illness and not label yourself or put yourself in a limiting box then you can see a light at the end of the tunnel. My therapist calls my past thinking as stinky thinking - the negative thoughts that rob you of joy and she said to me when I first came to her that I needed to rewrite the tape that was playing. I think I have improved in this respect I feed my mind on positive literature tho, and affirmations to try and keep me appreciating life and not taking it for granted. Also my grandfather is sick with Lukemia so I see life in a different perspective I think cos he is struggling to hold onto his with all his might. Why shouldnt I embrace mine?
I dont know what else to say I know that it is always a battle to try and keep myself in a healthy way mentally. But I have recently got the privellge back of giving myself my own medications everynight and I do not want to lose this chance to right my life and have something more than what I have had in the past. I have a future and I am looking at studies and a life. Why cant I have everything I want. There is no reason why not as long as I keep myself in a healthy state, and appreciate all the blessings I have around me.
Have a good night Bloggers.
I will try to be more regular with my posts - apologies again!
Tash
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