bits and bobs and useless chatter

What a beautiful sunny day its amazing how your mood is affected on a nice day like this. There is a slight bit of wind but sunny sunny sunny. I have been outside today with my family burning rubbish and all sorts of crap around our property. I didnt think I would enjoy doing this but I found it strangely theraputic to my situation. I was burning rubbish and at the same time burning the crappy things that I was thinking about the past, and throwing bit of rubbish into the fire and watching them disintegrate like I was disintergrating my past wrongs and things I regret, people I hate were the rubbish that was destroyed. All the things I reget were no more they were ashes. GONE the past is THE PAST.

I finished doing this and came inside cleaning the inside of the house as well. Then I sat down and watched Sex in the City 2 which I had out on dvd. I have a friend over for the evening so that is nice. We are going to drink some rum and cola. Yum. Its ok once and a while isnt it.

Friend came round and once again my mother made it all about her AGGGH. I get so frustrated when she goes through all her problems with my friends, and tries to get sympathy just pisses me off. I just sat there and tried not to say anything, all the time though steam was coming out of my ears. Plus if I try and say anything guess who cuts me off. Yes mother dearest again. So frustrating. Better not to say anything cos it is all about my mother and not actually a conversation between people. The usual. My friends end up having to listen to her life story. I dont know why she cant just keep quiet and let people have a nice evening without dragging up the past, especially when she does not know the person well in the first place. The person was MY FRIEND not hers.

I am so cross tonight. AGGGGGHHHH

I have come to bed after one rum and I dont feel tired even though I took my pills earlier this evening. SUX

Anyway going to sign off now for a while



Tasha.